I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize