My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
