Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Every concussion has its silver lining
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
