Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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