I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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