I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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