i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
