just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize