i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do vagina's smell?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
