new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
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I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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