No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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