so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize