He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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