What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
