He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
