OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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