ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
