Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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