she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
