if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
