I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ugly people sure do ruin things
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
