don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize