and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
