mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
well you can't waste a boner
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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