that's an acceptable place to lick
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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