just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
