He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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