New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
