then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
