I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize