okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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