I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
