And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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