that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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