VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
