I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina