Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.

Fav 14 4883 1219
share tweet
(501): View more from Arkansas

My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.

Fav 56 1100 5131
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning

Fav 18 5397 1264
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

Fav 10 3690 1659
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.

Fav 7 1335 3335
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass

Fav 3 3747 1334
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+31): View more from The Netherlands

Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though

Fav 4 1603 1548
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.

Fav 8 841 623
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"

Fav 0 29 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT