go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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