New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..