Texts From Last Night

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  (+44): View more from England

  Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.

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  (+44): Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call. http://tfl.nu/fjfe
  Replies (35) Good night (4551) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass

  (352): View more from Florida

  godspeed.

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  (786): if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass (352): godspeed. http://tfl.nu/ecel
  Replies (14) Good night (5228) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word

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  (971): this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word http://tfl.nu/bykc
  Replies (57) Good night (1880) Bad night (21153)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

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  (610): Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it. http://tfl.nu/l5ke
  Replies (29) Good night (9151) Bad night (2107)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.

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  (641): Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that. http://tfl.nu/2jzp
  Replies (27) Good night (9052) Bad night (3489)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

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  (720): She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/5m3k
  Replies (41) Good night (9676) Bad night (3539)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.

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  (614): she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie. http://tfl.nu/xhiw
  Replies (14) Good night (4341) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.

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  (770): He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology. http://tfl.nu/vyx3
  Replies (9) Good night (3422) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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  (916): Sadness tears and throw up everywhere http://tfl.nu/ierj
  Replies (5) Good night (824) Bad night (2261)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight

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  (713): I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight http://tfl.nu/pekh
  Replies (14) Good night (1969) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.

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  (518): Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked. http://tfl.nu/4s83
  Replies (10) Good night (505) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys

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  (505): I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys http://tfl.nu/88rh
  Replies (10) Good night (1578) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.

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  (417): Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead (1-417): Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp. http://tfl.nu/xy3p
  Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.

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  (412): I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them. http://tfl.nu/23p2
  Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.

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  (413): Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES! (860): You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out. http://tfl.nu/8exi
  Replies (3) Good night (573) Bad night (372)

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