Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?

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(402): he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now? http://tfl.nu/i3gk

Replies (23) Good night (931) Bad night (7960)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.

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(+44): The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself. http://tfl.nu/y3oz

Replies (4) Good night (833) Bad night (2028)
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(305): View more from Florida

quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

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(305): quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you http://tfl.nu/hg35

Replies (9) Good night (5208) Bad night (852)
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(904): View more from Florida

Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.

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(904): Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically. http://tfl.nu/529h

Replies (6) Good night (1401) Bad night (740)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.

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(313): I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer. http://tfl.nu/dqld

Replies (19) Good night (1405) Bad night (664)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.

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(612): There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/g344

Replies (12) Good night (741) Bad night (929)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?

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(702): I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right? http://tfl.nu/36o3

Replies (4) Good night (644) Bad night (1113)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.

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(636): Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year. http://tfl.nu/cp8d

Replies (4) Good night (487) Bad night (857)
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(427): View more from

Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.

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(427): Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it. http://tfl.nu/to7a

Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (928)
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(509): View more from Washington

So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?

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(509): So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh? http://tfl.nu/gcnr

Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (719)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it

(773): View more from Illinois

It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact

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(773): I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it (773): It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact http://tfl.nu/3h4p

Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (813)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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(414): Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/lx27

Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (309)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow

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(787): You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow http://tfl.nu/nndh

Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (274)
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(360): View more from Washington

it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me

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(360): it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me http://tfl.nu/wv06

Replies (1) Good night (234) Bad night (376)
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(954): View more from Florida

Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.

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(954): Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs. http://tfl.nu/o9g6

Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (177)

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