i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
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i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
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He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?