i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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