haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
