Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize