I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
