Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize