my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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