With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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