After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
