yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize