I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
