I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
