You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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