my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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