I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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