everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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