lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
