why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
