I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize