Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
