i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
