My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
