I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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