Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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