it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
